Remember when we were just kids and our parent’s friends visit our house and they tell us how cute we are (I feel you) and then they ask us this very simple question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” and with all the smile and enthusiasm we give them the most wildest answers that we could, like “ I want to be an Astronaut/Scientist/Superhero/Doctor/Teacher/Soldier/TV Star/etc.” yeah?… those were the days of our majestic innocence until adulthood punched us with duties & slapped us with responsibilities. (Haha *sigh*).
As time goes by our ambitions changes, some aims higher, others becomes more practical (not everyone can be an astronaut you know haha), others changed their ambitions (that’s totally ok) while some lost that idea of that person who they wanted to be, and that causes the feeling of being “Lost”. “I feel lost” I get that a lot from my dear friends, colleagues and random people who message me in social media. I did felt that before too. I think everyone will come across that “I feel lost” phase in life. It’s normal, and if some of you reading this right now who is in that phase in life, that you don’t know what to do, You’re ok outside but inside you’re not, don’t worry too much, that’s fine, it’s ok to be lost just don’t lose the drive of finding the way back. Because eventually, you will. In changing your life, like what George Eliot said “It’s never too late to be what you might have been”. This post is about simple modern steps that will help you in becoming the person that you want to be, some of it may sound very cheesy but don’t worry, you’ll not lose anything if you’ll do it. Now let’s get it on.
Get a ball pen and a notebook or just type in your laptop /mobile notes. Write at the top “Who I want to be” as a title. Then write down the traits/characteristics of who you want to be. It’s like filling-in a “profile” of a person that you want to be. Make it somehow practical and realistic, not everyone can be the president of the United States or the next miss universe you know, but do not limit yourself to the point that you will not aim Big. Dreaming is free so dream high in a realistic way. You know what I mean. Is it a profession, a personality that you want to have or a body shape that you want to achieve. Take your time. This part takes more than an hour. Try listening a soothing type of music to put you in the mood. (This is where you look at window with a blank face trying to know yourself. Haha Trust me I’ve done it J)
If you happened to not know yet what or who you want to be in life, That’s ok, maybe this is not the time and you do not have to rush. Maybe you need to explore different fields in life first until you finally find what fulfills you, like what a friend of mine said “Trial & Error” don’t get stuck, explore. But if right now you have that image of the person that you want to be then let’s now proceed to the next step.
See those “Do it your Own” videos on YouTube where it teaches you how to do anything all by yourself like from how to build your own cabinet to how to cook green lasagna up to how to plant an aloe vera without using a soil (I’m trying to be funny here bear with me haha J). Those step by step tutorials in creating things. Make something like it, Write down a step by step things that you need to do in order to be what you want to be. Make it like a checklist if you want.
- If it’s a profession, what are the qualifications needed? The courses & trainings that you need to undergo.
- If it’s a type of personality then what do you need to do to have that? Example: I want to be more patient & calm, then the action that is needed to do is? Think before you react.
- If it’s a Physical change you want, what are the things you need to do to achieve that? Create a schedule of exercise or something. Google things if you must, use the power of our generation. THE INTERNET.
- Click Follow (Use your Social Media)
Find a role model or someone in such field that is already in that level of where you want to be. Study their characteristics and the way they think. You do not need to copy everything that they do. But have their values like their determination in how they do things that you can apply on your own journey, see them as a target & an inspiration. Compare yourself to that person in a good way that you see your similarities and differences, Improve those similarities and get rid of the differences, at least minimize, maybe you’re doing something that should be stopped in order to get what you want. Example you want to be the best basketball player, but then you are very lazy and only practice once a week (what’s up with that?), I bet your favorite basketball player practices more than once a week. Have that the same determination. But please do not compare yourself in such a way that you bring yourself down. Do not compare your page 1 to someone’s page 20.
- Now these people who you aspire to be, search their Facebook, their Instagram, and their Twitter. Follow their pages. Follow those pages in social media that will remind you of your goal. You want to be a lawyer follow pages about law, you want to be a flight attendant follow pages about it, you want to be fit follow pages about exercise and dieting, you want to be a photographer follow pages about photography, etc. You can click “notification on” or set their posts as your “see first” so when you scroll down your home page you see worthy things. I know you follow your celebrity crushes or funny memes pages, if it makes you happy then there’s nothing wrong with that but at least make social media useful for you.
- Post it
Do you have a friend or know someone who is a medical courser student (nursing/radtech/pharma etc.) that when their exam is coming they have this habit of posting the things that they study all over their room’s wall. Sometimes even in the mirrors, fridge, lockers, ceiling, door, anywhere that they can see it, to make sure it will be in their heads until the exam. Science can explain this by the term “subliminal messaging” and yeah it works.
I’m not saying if you want to be a “Sexy bitch” that you’ll put a lot of “sexy bitch” stickers in your room. Let’s try it in a moderate way by putting One or 2 posters only….you sexy bitch!
- On your WALL: I’m not referring to Facebook wall, I mean your room wall. Get a clean paper and write down what you want in bold letters that you can easily read by far then put it in an area where it will be the last thing you see when you sleep and the first thing you see when you wake up (almost). Like the part of the wall that you face when you sleep, at your table or behind your door. You choose.
- On your Mobile Phone or Desktop: Make it your Wallpaper. A picture or a word.
Old people refer to this method as “Vision boarding” where they get a board and cut out all the words and pictures of their goals from magazines or newspapers and stick it there like a scrapbook style then hang it in their rooms, if you have time to create one, much better.
- Link your way in
Be with like-minded & supportive people, when you dream, sometimes, not everyone will understand you on why the “H” you want it. Others may or may not support you. Sometimes the people who you expect to support you will be the people who will discourage you instead, but hey! Don’t hate them for that, that’s normal, especially that they don’t understand what’s in your mind and you don’t have to fight with them just let it pass & find a support group.
- Find a local group with same interest, whether it’s a big or small organization. Just try it even in just a small period of time just for you to learn more and build connections. Example: bikers club, book club, mountaineers organization, street dancers, organization of finance professionals or nurses. Artists guild, photographers association, Etc.
- Search & Join Facebook Groups or social media community/Forums about that field that you are interested in. Another way to make our social media accounts more useful.
- Believe in yourself
This is Cliché, yes I know. But if you will not believe in yourself then who else will? Santa Claus?
How to believe in yourself? Let’s talk about that topic in another post but here’s one thing you must understand. Believing is the 1st step in making things happened.
Again, these are “ways to help you”, not the “ways to make you”. Because by the end of the day no one can help or nothing will make you become who you want to be but YOU, yourself, your determination & your belief that you can make it happen.
I guess this posts ends here, Thank you for reading. If you like this note don’t hesitate to share it. I’m Julius Anthony, its’ 3:00 am already, goodnight. 🙂
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